


Less Than Lonely (Far From Whole)

by crazyparakiss



Category: Teen Wolf (TV)
Genre: Angst, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2013-05-13
Updated: 2013-05-13
Packaged: 2017-12-11 17:42:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 532
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/801375
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/crazyparakiss/pseuds/crazyparakiss
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There were some things lonely men understood.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Less Than Lonely (Far From Whole)

**Author's Note:**

> Totally not beta'd. Wrote it to get feels outta my head so I can finish Heat Wave.

Stiles knew it was Derek before he turned around. His familiar smell wrapped around Stiles as his body’s warmth tried to move through Stiles’s skin. There were words wanting to be spoken, but they died on Stiles’s tongue when Derek’s cheek scratched over the sensitive skin of his shoulder and neck.

 

After that the dance became familiar--a rhythm Stiles knew so well his mind wandered along with Derek’s hands. Today was the day Stiles dreaded most through the year. It didn’t matter that he’d been out of elementary for years--the reminders were bright and cheery all through town. Every sign plastered with great deals and gifts for _Mom_. Stiles didn’t have a mom any longer. Now he had the phantom of her memory as it lingered in the dark crevices and thick blankets of dust around his dad’s house.

 

A sharp bite to his collar brought him out of his attempt to recreate her face. “You smell like you’re somewhere else--stop it--stay here with me,” Derek growled. Blunt human teeth gleamed in the low orange glow of sunset, and Stiles held Derek’s soul-searching stare. It felt like hours, but soon enough Derek was back to his task. Mouth branding Stiles’s skin every few kisses, and fingers rough where they dug into his hips. Reminding Stiles of where he needed to be in this moment.  

 

He touched Derek’s hair. Ran blunt nails over his back when Derek fucked into him hours after they started. Watched Derek’s face shift to something less human through heavy eyelids. Through it all the emptiness lingered, but it became less prominent. Derek in him was never enough to feel whole, but it eased his hurt to a dull ache.

 

When Stiles watched Derek come--his face human and vulnerable--he wondered if perhaps Derek chased him here for more than Stiles’s benefit. Perhaps, beneath the cold angry exterior, Derek was just as lost and lonely.

 

While everyone else was busy living Derek and Stiles were trying to survive beyond the guilt and hazy memories of what was lost. Usually their modes of survival were different, but there were some days--like today--when the feeling was too overwhelming and they needed to crash into one another to cope.

 

This would never be love. For Stiles and Derek it was about feeling something more than empty.

 

Later, when Derek held him as darkness blanketed Beacon Hills Stiles felt him breathe deep at the back of his neck. Derek never asked him what he was thinking about when he cried, and Stiles never asked Derek what he was thinking about when he’d stare off into the distance looking pensive.

 

There were some things lonely men understood. It drew Derek’s hand down Stiles’s back when the tears came. Understanding is what gave Stiles the courage to hold Derek that first night. When he found him kneeling over Laura’s grave. He didn’t whisper words, but Derek’s mind was loud. Stiles could hear the fear and grief over losing pieces of his pack.

 

Four years since then and Stiles still didn’t want to label this as love or permanent, but when Derek breathed him deep he dared to believe.

  
  



End file.
